Who haunts your doorstep night and day, And scares your faithful friends away, In spite of all they do and say? Your poodle dog. Who drenches ladies' cheeks with tears, And fills their gentle life with fears, And hurries them to early biers? Your poodle dog. Who makes a man a horrid bear, And when the parson tears his hair, Puts out his tongue and doesn't care? Your poodle dog. Who strews the road with shoes and socks, And fragments torn from women's frocks, Then shows his teeth, and grins and mocks? Your poodle dog. Who spoils the fun at every feast, And won't obey you in the least, A bouncing, barking, blatant beast? Your poodle dog. Oh, when his place of rest is found, I'll dance with glee upon the mound That hides at last from sight and sound Your poodle dog!